I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
