i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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