That's when you crack a 10am beer
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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