the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
3 2 1 whiskey
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
