is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
