ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
