Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
