You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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