I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
worst night to have a conscience
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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