dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
