You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
