White coat. Heels.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
