I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
