I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
