well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
