gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
