walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
