I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
