I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
