Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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