You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize