Define "chronic" masturbator.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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