trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
