doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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