Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
