I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Randomize
