I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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