I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
