I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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