You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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