I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
