I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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