Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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