I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
