I puked a lego.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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