i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
