I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
