Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
