I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
