I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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