Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize