Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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