brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my liver is dry heaving
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
