she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
