Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
