after a month anything with tits is on the radar
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
