he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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