I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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