I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
