Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
