Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
