I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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