Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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