glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
