I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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