Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
