You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
