If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
