That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
