i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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