So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she smelled like a LAN party
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
